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We all know cases of babies and children who have what is known as'mastitis'. They cling to the mother's legs or arms and do not want anyone to touch, hold, feed or play with them, not even the father. It is usually a stage and responds, almost always, to one or more reasons: jealousy at the arrival of a brother, the mother returns to work, feels more secure with mother or has to be attended by a caregiver during the day.
My niece fits perfectly into the pattern of: 'children with acute mastitis'. He is only 13 months old, but he always knows where his mother is, and if she is not in his field of vision, he begins to cry. When you try to pick her up, she extends her little hands towards her as if asking for help and cries if her mother doesn't pay her proper attention. I know of other cases of older children, their mothers did not stop this excessive dependence and it is shocking to see how an older child does not want to be more than 70 centimeters away from his mother's body
- Between the arms of the mother everything is easier and simpler. They have been with her from the beginning and feel safe by her side.
- The arrival of a sibling can shake their little world and demand more attention from their mother.
- A change in their life such as starting in kindergarten or changing their address can make them feel afraid or insecure and they want to cling to the one who provides the most love, attention or security.
- When the mother returns to work it is normal for it to happen, since before they had mother all the time to themselves and now they have to be away from her for most of the day. In those cases, when the mother appears at the door, there is no longer any way to remove them from her side.
That the baby or the child only wants to be with mother, does not mean I do not love the father or rejecting other family members. It simply happens that with the mother he has lived more moments of attachment such as breastfeeding and that makes him feel more secure and calm with her.
This phase will pass when the child begins to be more autonomous, although we can help him by playing with him for a while and then leaving the room so that he remains only a few minutes. We can talk to him so that he knows that we are there, but at the same time we make him understand that each one of us may be doing a different task.
Dad can help by doing activities that are attractive to the child: play piggyback with him, read him a story, play with clay, teach him fun things ... These will be small moments that will intensify confidence.
In the park we can help you to play with other children, just by sitting with them and participating in their games until little by little, we withdraw so that the children can interact.
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