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When there is no agreement between parents on the education of their children

When there is no agreement between parents on the education of their children



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The participation of fathers and mothers in the education of their children is very important. This intervention causes many insecurities and anxiety in adults. Parents begin to ask themselves questions that create expectations and this causes them to make 'harmful' mistakes when it comes to educating.

Among the most common mistakes parents tend to make when educating their children, the disparity in the couple on how to educate children is of special importance.

Lack of unity of judgment among parentsBeing the authority figures for his children, he is one of the great burdens to educate. It is the responsibility of both the father and the mother to agree on the rules and forms of discipline that they will use in the education of their children. When this agreement does not exist and one parent cedes authority to another, children suffer. Couples may encounter difficulties on the path that leads them to reach agreements and unify criteria. Between these:

- It may be the case that one of the two wants to use a way of educatingEither because it is the method they used with him or her in the past or because he or she does not know of another method; and the other of the couple does not agree. It is true that when you believe that there is a way to educate your children that it can be difficult to accept that your partner does not share your opinion, but in the other part of the couple, exactly the same can happen and believe that theirs is the best way to educate because he also wants the best for his children. Therefore, it would be necessary for them to speak to see if they can agree on common standards.

- The child receives mixed messages. Their parents disavow each other. The little one does not know who to listen to and feels lost, without clear references. This means that as the child grows he learns to use these discrepancies or differences of criteria to do what he wants.

- Other times, although they agree on the rules, one is more permissive than the other. This causes problems in the couple and great confusion in the children In addition, it must also be taken into account that the education of the children is a continuous task over time and that they have to be integrated into the formation of the small aspects: emotional, intellectual, values, etc.

1. Avoid arguing with the other parent in the child's presence. When, for example, the father is facing a specific situation with the child, it is necessary to resolve it without the other member of the couple participating. It will be later and without the little one in front of them when they will get together and express their disagreements or criticisms to find solutions.

2. Avoid anger, yelling and belittling the child and the partner. When things are said from calm, they have a more constructive effect than when they are said from criticism.

3. Acting from resentment produces discomfort. Once the uncomfortable situation has passed, you have to close it and move on to something else.

4. Without pride, the better. It is about looking for the best for the little one and the best thing is that parents educate in a balanced way. Thinking that you have 'won' a discussion with your partner about the child's education will only have repercussions on the child.

5. Think that the child is not the cause of the problems with your partner related to parenting, but is the main victim.

6. Empathy with the partner. Try to understand the reasons of the other and their vision about parenting and try to contribute your vision.

You can read more articles similar to When there is no agreement between parents on the education of their children, in the category of On-site Education.


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